I Was the Protagonist (Forgive Me)
24 APRIL 2012
I Was the Protagonist (Forgive Me)
I’ve yet met you, but now’s a good a time as any to apologoze in excess.
You were my princess; I worked for fairy tales.
Success-driven, I let the pressure find me.
I measured by standards I perceived to be true.
You, I failed but a while has passed and I’ve grown.
Our first ship sailed and it was a glorious ride.
No one I’d rather confide in, but I was notorious
for wanting you to read my mind.
I preached communication, but usually held back.
I was avoiding black waters and in looking toward the sun,
I allowed myself to be blinded by own misplaced assumption.
Since then, our ship has been anchored.
Angered by hurt, you use distance to blunt your feelings for me
At least that’s what I pretend
Your detachment gives me no intimation of your feelings for me;
I study your words looking for trends.
Worn, miserable sails, sewn together by beautiful memories and
distressed by my mistakes
Fiendish pride, fiendish complacency, and foolish
assumptions of what you wanted me to be.
I admit my insecurities were potentiated, but ultimately
I’m at fault. I’m to blame for our faulty lines.
I could’ve helped tighten them, secure our valor,
Secure our sail over waters of a selfish color.
Yes, you could have tried harder, but I’m insane
For having thought you’d read my mind;
Leaving inside other relevant advice for you.
Time has passed and I’ve quit my vice for you.
Today, I am a victim to immutable certainty;
Certainly, your predispositions and hesitation are justified.
Today, I pretend I’m fine but down my cheek an expression of feeling:
A mourning—a remnant droplet of our sea of love.
In your absence, I’ve returned to my cocoon, pealing
Back slowly a second skin of protection.
Convention is no longer an issue.
Ashes of lamentation for failed days.
I’m patient, but I miss you
I was under the influence of standards that weren’t mine.
I refuse to believe those in your heart aren’t meant to be in your life.
Have your time. In the meanwhile, I’m learning to weave ropes
In hopes that you’ll return and we’ll be one again— stronger than ever.
We’ve always thought we’re better together.
David González Valles
© 2013 Effete Scribbler
effete scribbler 